Rachel floating

Explanation for my title? I feel rather afloat. My pieces seem to have split into two polar themes-- love of others and self-dislike and all their aspects and implications. I feel like I've got a good foundation, now, to springboard off from, but I also feel like something is holding me back and tethering me-- hence, a floating boat at the dock. I've had reasonably success in my personal stuff lately, with I think helps everything else, but one thing or another keeps stopping me from diving in full force. For example, yesterday I went to the Marino Marini Museum again to draw from the sculptures, and found that they would not accept me into their student discounts, and all of this after somehow getting lost on the way there. When I finally got down to drawing, I found that an hour my stomach was trying to digest itself and making loud noises of dissatisfaction. (I left). And today, I was beginning a new (my second) stop-motion animation in pastel on a single paper. Then, my camera ran out of batteries. Little silly things like that.

But really, I find the sort of depressive state of last week to be noticeably slightly better now. I'm pretty grateful to whatever made that occur (awesome students, teachers, friends, family).

I feel as though I blinked and the week had past. I suppose the trip the chiesa dell' autostrada happened just a bit ago, wow. That place is amazing, I definitely have to go back. The color, the contours, the space, the textures were all so great (*cough*mossontheground*cough). 

I find myself really liking many of the sculptures in Marino Marini from one or a certain set of angles only. I don't really get why; I think it has something to do with really subtle lines contrasting with really blunt one that don't seem to have a rhyme or reason to me. But the museum has a really cool design, and the kind of feel I would want my ideal studio to have: lofty and airy and full of light and natural color.

I am learning to keep my inner calm a little better in the face of a barrage that looks little from the outside but huge from inside myself. I am also learning to try to concentrate on what I can do right and not what I do wrong, even though this seems impossible a lot of the time. I kind of find myself waiting to slip back into negativity, but I will fight that. I think that if I try really hard at my artwork, some kind of content will come naturally.

I'm really excited about my animation piece. I'm going to use the same concept I used in the original piece I made, but it will be way longer and better in terms of narrative flow, formal elements and expression of the meaning I want to get across (I hope). The piece starts with drano being poured into a pipe, which then transforms into a person, so the person is effectively drinking the drano. I have a lot of ideas for what happens after that, so we will just have to wait and see how things go. I would really like to be able to set the animation to a song by Amanda Palmer (my favorite music artist ever; caution, she likes to dig into some caustic ideas). I will keep the sound of her music in mind as I work.

Since my camera battery has died, I can't upload very many pictures for the moment, but the few I have are here. More will come shortly.